Mini Reviews Of Films I've Seen Recently

First Blood
When Vietnam vet John Rambo is pushed by the local redneck sheriff and his crew, Rambo pushes back…big time. Sylvester Stallone delivers in the most dramatic of the three, as does Jerry Goldsmith’s
memorable score. When Rambo stalks deputies in the woods, it’s fun yet edgy times at the movies. Plus it teaches a good lesson…treat Vietnam veterans with respect. Stallone has a final speech which I find very touching, despite what some critics say. Colonel Trautman, played by Richard Crenna, is fantastic as well, while Brian Dennehy does great as bad guy Sheriff Teasle. Plus, lots of good old fashioned action including his escape from the jail, climbing along the cliff, and returning to the town with an M60 machine gun.

Rambo: First Blood Part II
My favorite of the trilogy, and without a doubt the quintessential action picture. Rambo shooting explosive-tipped arrows. Rambo blowing up a village and kicking ass with a helicopter. Battles/firefights, one on one helicopter fights, all done with good old fashioned badass ways instead of the overdone CGI of today. I miss movies like this one. You also have Jerry Goldsmith’s fantastic score, one of the best scores of all time, and Stallone at his action-packed, memorable best. The film deals with Rambo being allowed to go back to Vietnam, where he rescues American POWs. Simple but yet wholly effective. Perhaps my
favorite action picture of all time.

Rambo III
Rambo finds out that his friend Trautman is taken prisoner in Afghanistan. Rambo goes there to rescue him, and ultimately helps the rebels against the Russian army. Underappreciated, this is a big ole blast of action and excitement. Very well staged, excellently shot old school action sequences. It’s over the top, but in a fun way. I must admit there are a few slow spots, but the film has such a big scope in its’ action. The ending has been criticized, but I absolutely loved it. One piece of dialogue is very badass (Colonel: “What do you think John?“ Rambo: “Fuck ‘em!“) Scenes of him taking out sentries in a cave is pure fun times. And the ending is an awesome assembly of Rambo kicking some major ass against the whole Russian army, with another wonderful Jerry Goldsmith score, with a huge fun as hell scope to the whole thing. I’ll take this film against all the other over edited, politically correct action films coming out today. A great film.

Young Frankenstein
Many say this is the best Mel Brooks film, but I disagree. It has a few laughs as Gene Wilder decides to take over his dad’s work. The best scene is blind man Gene Hackman interacting with monster Peter Boyle, as they sit down and have a drink. Truthfully I just didn’t find it funny, I’ll take Spaceballs any day of the week.

Xtro
Strange sci-fi picture about a man who gets abducted, turns into a creature, comes back and rapes a blonde woman, then that same woman gives birth to that same man in original form. Then that same man gets into a custody battle with his ex-wife for their son. All I can say is…what? Slow paced, very dumb…but is has nerve (a woman giving birth to a full grown man) and extra gooey gore. Plus, a stupid, annoying ending. Check it once for the gore, then throw it away.
The Hills Have Eyes (2006)
Great cast, especially the hero character of Doug. He goes through the ’wimp turned badass phase, and I loved every minute of it. The film is about a family trapped in the desert with a bunch of cannibalistic mutants preying on them. Tomandandy gives a both eerie and adrenaline-pumping score. Especially in the third act, which is fantastically brutal and gory. The trailer attack sequence is nerve-wrecking, and I’ll say it again this is one brutal and gory movie. The third act, where Doug fights in order to get his baby back, is exciting, enthralling, hardcore, and very satisfying.

Doogal
3-D animated film about a candy-loving dog named Doogal who joins with a group of misfits to save the world from the evil Zeebad (Jon Stewart) who’s intent on freezing the world. He’s joined by guitar-playing, sleepy rabbit Dylan (Jimmy Fallon) who sounds like a hippie, Whoopi Goldberg as opera-singing cow Ermintrude, bashful snail Brian (William H. Macy), and their helpful train (Chevy Chase). Judi Dench is the narrator, Ian McKellan is a good wizard, and Kevin Smith is a moose who farts a lot. Wow…what a boring
and uneventful piece of dog shit! When watching this on DVD I fast forwarded through most of it…the animation isn’t the high caliber of Shrek or even Open Season. But the worse part is that there are so damn many 3-D animated films which are ten times funnier, 20 times more exciting, and especially not as gag and vomit inducing as this filth. I may sound harsh…I like films like Shrek…but this is just not funny at all. The themes of friendship is more of the ‘I’m going to puke if they don’t shut up’ quality. And nothing happens that you haven’t seen before. A character fighting Matrix style? (Cameron Diaz in Shrek). Characters sliding on a long icy slope while a song kicks in (Ice Age)? You’ve probably seen most of what happens on your kid’s Saturday morning cartoon, and thankfully the film is short. It’s only saving grace is a high caliber voice talent…but even then only 3 stand out. Jimmy Fallon got a few laughs out of me as hippie-like rabbit…I enjoyed watching his character. Jon Stewart made a good bad guy, while Kevin Smith I’ve always been a huge fan of (although he has very little screen time in this flick unfortunately). The others…not so good. Narrator Dench sounds bored, McKellan can play wizards in his sleep by now (cough Lord of the Rings trilogy cough), Macy is annoying, and Goldberg I’m sorry to say has not been funny the first Sister Act…or maybe back to Jumping Jack Flash. Chase did okay as the train but they didn’t use his voice too much. And oh boy the main character of Doogal…that character was so annoying, kept getting everyone in trouble (he accidentally started the events in place), and had one of the most irritating voices in animation history. I literally wanted to reach in and strangle him…instead I prayed they put this mutt down. Unfortunately my request went unnoticed. Now I realize why this film went so damn unnoticed, it made like maybe $5 million total (which is pathetic). But it fits cause the film is also pathetic AVOID PIECE OF PUTRID, VILE SHIT ON ALL COSTS OR SUFFER THE CONSEQUENCES. Go check out Ice Age or hell even Happy Feet instead of this. Again please lets put Doogal to sleep for good, that would make my day.

The Man
If this film didn’t star Samuel L. Jackson (who can do no wrong), I wouldn’t have even wasted my time on this mediocre effort. Tough cop Jackson joins with a talkative teeth expert (Eugene Levy) as they try to take down some gun runners. Pretty much it…again you’ve seen this so many times before from 48 Hours to Bad Boys that you have to do something very different or very special to make it memorable. This does not. Again Jackson is the only saving grace, as he plays tough and comedy very well. But even Levy I truthfully never laughed at anything he did…I just kept getting reminded of another film he did called Armed and Dangerous with John Candy. He also played a talkative, nervous guy paired up with a tough cop (well former cop, and as tough as John Candy can be). It was funny in that film but not in this. He was not annoying but also not as hysterical as a film like this need to separate it from the dozens of buddy/cop flicks. The plot is…wait was there a plot? Anyway the always great Miguel Ferrer made an appearance which is always a good thing. The bad guy by Luke Goss is typical. Bottom line: if you are a huge Samuel L. Jackson fan give it a once over look. Otherwise, skip it and watch one of the other dozens of buddy/cop films (Rush Hour 1 and 2, etc.). Best word to describe this flick is: forgettable!

The Benchwarmers
Rob Schneider, David Spade, and Jon Heder star as 3 older guys who know a thing about bullies. While helping a kid from the neighborhood bullies, they decide to form a 3 man baseball team to challenge the state’s best little leaguers. Bottom line, I enjoyed the film. It was well paced, funny, and the cast made the difference. I like both Spade and Heder and I thought they were funny. You also had Jon Lovitz as a rich guy who has lots of Star Wars memorabilia and one point drives K.I.T.T the car from ‘Knight Rider.’ Some very funny moments like coach Tim Meadows grabbing an older Mexican man who gets drunk and starts shouting “Maria.” Good for a couple laughs, and it’s easy entertainment. But saying that I wouldn’t watch it again. Kind of a forgettable viewing.